Comedy Songs


Three Points
This is the latest song for my alter ego, Ray from Holloway. Here, Ray keeps getting caught by speed cameras - "Gotcha, gotcha!"


Speedy Boarding
Another song for Ray. By an amazing coincidence, as Dillie Keene of Fascinating Aida was writing 'Cheap Flights', I was writing 'Speedy Boarding'. They've had over three million YouTube hits. Now I've got to make the video!


My Christmas Day
Ray's first song. This came from a conversation overheard in a London pub. A man was moaning to his friend about Christmas, and the phrase I heard was, "So we're sitting by the side of the road in a broke-down Vauxhall Zafira waiting for the RAC..."


No-one Emails Me No More
You know those well-meaning friends who forward every virus warning and chain letter they get? I've had it with being told I'll have a lifetime's bad luck if I don't pass it on to all my friends. Hence this song.


Sub-Prime
Somewhere in Tennessee there's the guy who was the first one to default on his sub-prime mortgage. Like the butterfly effect, he started it, and it was just this one good ol' boy that caused the entire devastating worldwide financial collapse - and he's mad as hell. Ah sure do lerve playin' ma banjo!


Let Me Drive My Car
This is about the tricky problem of trying to be green and save the world, but at the same time being unable to give up driving our cars. Seemed to me that the perfect person to sing this was Jeremy Clarkson, so I've sung it à la JC and sent it to him. World-wide repeats if this was ever performed on Top Gear - well, I live in hope!
(Recording and arrangement, piano and drums by the inspired Philip Bird).

It Has To Be Sean
After playing my first ever proper gig with The Bushido Brothers, I was mucking about with the chord sequence of one of their songs, and I realised it was very close to the Bond theme, and if it's Bond, well, it has to be Sean!


I Didn't Mail It
This song's not sure if it's a straight rock song or a send up. At the moment it lies between the two. It certainly started as a spoof. It occured to me that I was getting really sick of all those syrupy country songs that sang about 'lerve' when serious domestic abuse is on the increase in America. I started writing it but then found that I was feeling a bit sorry for our anti-hero. Work in progress maybe!


Ambridge Time
I wrote and recorded this in my early days with the Archers, late eighties. Time for a re-release??


 

copyright

All songs are copyright. They are free to enjoy and distribute. To use, perform or cover any songs for commercial gain, please get in touch.

recordings

Unless otherwise stated, all arrangements are written, performed and recorded by me. To use my studio facilities, please contact me.