Well, this is pushing it a bit. It's an aspiration. Judy bought me a welding course as a Christmas present a few years ago, and I made a Norman helmet. On the first day they asked me what my project was. I said I just wanted to learn how to weld, but they insisted, so, since Judy had given me the course, and since she's a milliner, I thought I'd make her a hat, out of metal. It's still not quite finished, and the course doesn't exist any more, so two Christmases ago, she gave me a MIG welder. I think it's a hint. I can't imagine what she wants with an incredibly heavy Norman helmet with a great long nose shank - I'm intrigued to find out, but I do intend to get cracking on with learning it.

The reason for all this effort is My Sculpture. I've always been bad at throwing away anything electrical, or made of metal. Old record players, cassette decks, amps, graphic equalisers, televisions, computers, mobile phones, pots, pans, vacuum cleaners, irons, electric motors, carburrettors, dynamos, more tellies, more computers. It got so bad in the attic and workshop that I had to build a shed specially to take them all.

My intention is to build, out of the electronic detritus of my life, a sculpture that is about 20 feet high, of an old man down on one knee, his arms raised upwards, and his head turned to the sky. The figure will quite clearly be expressing the question,
"Well, what the fuck was that all about then?"

That's why I'm going to learn how to be a welder.